How to Get Unstuck and Fulfil Your Potential

This article has been inspired by the many calls and emails I’ve had recently from people who have been waiting years to get moving in their business.
Feelings and emotions are powerful forces that can work for us which is great, but they can also work against us. Not so great!
You may have all these ideas and dreams that you want to pursue but, no matter how hard you try, you just can’t find the motivation to take action and make a decision. You just go around in circles instead.
You want to save money but end up wasting time. Then, you get frozen into inaction and lose so much confidence.
I know that there are countless ways to build your business, but they all have one thing in common.
You’ve got to step in the arena and try!
It’s the hardest part. That’s why I love Brené Brown’s quote so much:
“If you are not in the arena getting your ass kicked on occasion, I am not interested in or open to your feedback. There are a million cheap seats in the world today filled with people who will never be brave with their own lives, but will spend every ounce of energy they have hurling advice and judgement at those of us trying to dare greatly. Their only contributions are criticism, cynicism, and fear-mongering. If you’re criticizing from a place where you’re not also putting yourself on the line, I’m not interested in your feedback.” ― Brené Brown
 
If you are in the arena, you have a shot.
And although it may often feel impossible, especially when you are on your own, it IS all possible.
That’s why it’s important to find your tribe of people who remind you it’s possible.
When I started my business, I was petrified of everything. It took me at least four months to gather the courage to post on social media about what I was doing.
Telling my friends and family was the most uncomfortable thing I’ve ever done.
But the more you can manage to force yourself through that comfort zone, into that growth zone, the more you’ll start to be able to really effectively build your business.

How do you make it happen? It’s a combination of inner work and taking action.

I’ve invested a lot of money and time doing that inner work with coaches because you can know everything you need to do to build your business. Still, there is usually a deep-routed emotional reason why you may not be taking action.
It’s not always something that we can think our way out of. It could be a pattern stored in the body that is trying to keep us safe.
So, with small, courageous steps and by consistently facing our fears, we can become more courageous as well as learn to identify and name those patterns when they come up.
But nothing’s going to happen without you taking action.

Get in the arena, dare greatly, and try.

There are, of course, circumstances beyond our control, like whether people choose to buy from us. However, as a coach, you’ll know that there is so much more within your control than you might realise.
Procrastination when you’re building your website. Making excuses that you don’t have time, or blaming others for your lack of progress. It’s easy for us to forget, but these are all within our control to change.
As are our conscious thoughts, let alone our unconscious thoughts we have all day long, that we’re not even aware of. They all matter because our thoughts create our feelings and our feelings create our actions.
That’s what I want to explore here.
When you ask yourself, “Why am I not taking action?” “Why am I so scared?” “I just can’t do this”, it’s often because of the way you feel and your ingrained beliefs that have shaped those feelings.
And, if you are taking action that you don’t want to take, it’s also because of the way you feel.
So, if you are stuck, and not really playing as big as you would wish to, examine the feelings that are driving your actions. Your actions will always create the results that you want or don’t want in your life.
If your coaching business isn’t where you want it to be, it’s likely to be due to your thoughts leading to the feelings that result in procrastination and lack of action.
It happens to all of us, which is why I spend so much time and money working with various practitioners on a really deep level.
I’ve recently been working with a woman, Juliet, who does EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) and other modalities. It’s really helped me to see that lots of the things happening now in my life and related to my business are due to patterns that started in childhood.
I also work with Nick, an amazing MCC ICF coach, who focuses on “Where is this coming from?” It’s all incredibly enlightening and helpful work.
I’d really recommend going back to the root cause of many of these behaviours that may not be serving you anymore.
So the next logical question is, “What determines what we think?”
Our thoughts and feelings are influenced by so many factors, including our beliefs, past experiences, conditioning, and all of the information we consume.

Here are a few key factors that play a role in helping you to start to identify and consciously create those positive thoughts.

1 Our beliefs

As coaches, we all know a lot about limiting beliefs.
They shape our perception of the world and ourselves. I like to think of it as a stained glass window – depending on where you are sitting, the sun shining through can give you a completely different view of what’s happening in that room to the person sitting next to you or in front of you.
This analogy always helps me think about how our beliefs can distort our view of the world.
For example, if you don’t believe that success is possible for you, challenging and evaluating these beliefs is going to really help you to create new possibilities and empower you to take the necessary steps forward.
It can be powerful to write them down because I don’t think we can think our way out of a limiting belief. Putting it down on paper helps us to see our way through, which is the ultimate solution to getting unstuck and moving forward.

2 Our past experiences

If your past experiences were challenging or traumatic, they will probably greatly impact your thoughts and emotions. I really notice this with my clients and see how their past experiences can hold them back.
I get to know everyone I work with really well, and I start to see patterns in their experiences and their belief system.
It could even be something like not wanting to speak up at school still affecting you to this day.

3 Conditioning and society

Your family, your history, the perceptions and historical culture around being a woman. It all has an impact on how women behave versus how men behave. There is a lot of baggage that comes with our conditioning and the wider society around us.

4 Awareness is key

The amount of information we consume through the news and social media can massively influence our thoughts and emotions.
I rarely watch the news and rarely scroll Instagram and other social media. It just doesn’t make me feel good. Choosing not to dip into it too much is an example of a factor we can control in our lives.

5 Self-talk

It’s easy to let negative self-talk undermine our confidence, which discourages us from taking positive action.
 
So, what can we do to change and to get unstuck?
 
To help you to overcome inaction and start taking steps towards your goals, become aware of the influencing factors that we’ve talked about and how they can help you to shift your thoughts and emotions.
Positive, mindful actions like journaling, self-reflection, mindset work and body work are all things you can try.
Seeking support from a coach or therapist and surrounding yourself with a positive and supportive community is key.
Change starts from within, and consciously choosing those empowering thoughts and beliefs can really help you to thrive in your business.
I really hope that this article gives you some things to think about in a structured framework that constructively helps you to get a handle on that negative voice that tells you, “You can’t do this!” because, guess what, “Oh, yes, you can!”
 
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Hello and welcome! I’m Joanna Lott, and I’m passionate about empowering qualified coaches like you to build brilliant businesses.