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Joanna Lott Coaching

How often have you attached your self-worth to your business success? 🚢

You’re on a high when you’re gaining clients…

…And you’re on a low when there’s no clients.

Detaching Self-Worth from Work [00:00:38]

Exploring the negative spiral of tying self-worth to work success and the impact it has on taking action.

Navigating the Coaching Storm [00:02:45]

Discussing the challenges and struggles faced in growing a coaching business and the importance of maintaining self-worth amidst the ups and downs.

Resilience in the Face of Shame [00:09:54]

Exploring the power of shame and the need to build resilience in order to overcome fear, judgment, and shame in pursuing business success.

The benefits of daily meditation [00:12:33]

Jo discusses the importance of daily meditation in building their business and how it helped her manage her emotions and mindset.

The importance of inner work in building a successful business [00:13:38]

Jo emphasises the significance of doing inner work and cultivating the right mindset to achieve success in business, highlighting that it goes beyond just finding a niche.

Promotion of a new training on securing coaching clients [00:14:59]

Jo mentions a recently recorded training that provides a roadmap for building a coaching business and offers deeper insights into core elements for securing more coaching clients. You can access it here.

Useful Links

Sign up here: From Generic to Genius: how to choose a profitable niche and offer – Free LIVE workshop on 23 November at 10-11am GMT.

Meet me live to prepare for a profitable 2024 in Barnes, London, on 30 November

How to secure more coaching clients’ free training

Download the 12 ways to get clients now

Learn about The Business of Coaching programme

Connect with Jo on LinkedIn

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If you’re kind enough to leave a review, please do let Jo know so she can say thank you. You can always reach her at: joanna@joannalottcoaching.com

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Transcript
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Hello and welcome to Women in the Coaching Arena podcast. I'm so glad you are here. I'm Jo Lott, a business mentor and ICF accredited coach

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and I help coaches to build brilliant businesses. I know that when you prepare to enter the arena, there is fear, self doubt, comparison, anxiety, uncertainty, shame. You can tend to armor up and protect yourself from vulnerability. In this podcast, I'll be sharing honest, not hype, practical and emotional tools to support you to make the difference that you are here for. Dare greatly. You belong in this arena. Welcome to the 33rd episode of women in the coaching arena. I am so glad you are here. Today I want to talk about detaching your self worth from your work because it's a really negative spiral you can fall into, if for example, you're having a really bad month or growth is super slow in your business and you're not bringing in the income you want. So then you start to feel like a failure. And that feeling, as a coach you'll know this, of feeling like a failure will mean that you often don't take the action of someone who is super successful. You will take the action of someone who feels like a failure, which is not the sort of action that is going to generate those results that you want. So I want to dive deep into this today. So let's talk about your intrinsic worth. Amidst that rollercoaster journey of growing your coaching business. I'll also be bringing bits of Brene Brown into this because she is obviously big on self-worth and exploring those really deep reasons why this may be happening. Starting with navigating the coaching storm. So the ship of your coaching business sales through serene seas and turbulent storms, doesn't it. I love this meditation, which always used to say, drop down to where there is space beneath the waves. And it really, really helped me on so many occasions because I can really put myself to that place. Where it's still and calm and quiet instead of where we spend most of our time, which is up on the waves, getting bashed and battered by whatever is happening in our lives. What we're aiming for is for you and your self worth to stand there, like a lighthouse, resiliently amidst the success and struggles of your business. One of my clients asked me last week, what do you put your business success down to? And I thought really hard about this because it's really hard to think of one thing. And she specifically said, what one thing do you put your business success down to? So. I managed to come up with two, obviously. So I said, firstly, passion, your excitement that this can change lives will genuinely change your business because if you have that passion and you have that enthusiasm, you cannot help but to show up and share it. And my second one was vulnerability. I really do see this as my hidden strength. Because no one likes the person who pretends that they have it all figured out. If you are a mum, for example, the least popular person, or the person you would think, oh, how have I got stuck with you? Is the person who is saying, oh no, my baby sleeping through the night. Oh yeah, they eat all their food. Oh they're just no trouble at all. So we don't always want to know that. And yes, well, obviously we can celebrate those things. We also need to see the other side and know that everyone's life is 50- 50. Sometimes they're up, sometimes they're down. And if anyone pretends that it's all up. You know that there is probably some dishonesty going on. So I think vulnerability, just like Brene Brown shares, is a huge strength of yours. Brene Brown talks herself about how she felt after her Ted talk went viral. Suddenly, she felt that overwhelming pressure of disappointing others. And has worked a lot on ensuring that her self-worth was not determined by that public approval or criticism. So embrace that the vulnerability of the moment you may be in now, and what's not going well. Is what you will genuinely look back on with pride, knowing. Wow, I got through that. I saw a James Clear quote this week which said something like if you are not prepared to feel the lows, you will never feel the highs. So you will never reach your potential. If you are so busy, avoiding, failing a launch or someone saying no that you can't speak at their event or something that you want to do for your business, but you are allowing that fear of failure to be stronger than your desire for success. And it's a really easy thing to do, and I definitely do it as well. And the moments that I'm proudest of is when I just do the thing and don't let that fear of failure stop me. Let's talk about the arena of coaching. Considering this podcast is called women in the coaching arena. I am super passionate about helping those who are willing to step in the arena. Because you are exposing yourself to failure, criticism, but you're also opening doors to immense learnings, genuine connections and changing people's lives. I've been having quite a few calls with people considering joining my program recently. And something I'm really kind of coming around to now is that if they are not prepared to step in the arena and try. I cannot help them. So there's no point me bending over backwards, trying to say, I can do this payment plan or I can do this. Because it's nothing to do with that. And I don't think that that is often the barrier to entry. It is that decision that you are prepared to step in the arena and put your money on the line to say, this will work for me. And that is a really big moment and no one can take that moment from you. That is your decision to decide. And so that is why I love that moment when someone makes the decision, because it's you, that gets to decide if you are successful or not. Yes, I can help you once you've made that decision, but until you have made that decision that you're going all in and getting in the arena, no matter how many amazing strategies I present to you or how much I try and support you? There will be nothing I can do until you have internally made that decision that you will be a success story. The next part I wanted to talk about was empathy. And that is really easy for a coach because most of us really want to do good in the world. Connection is really built in empathy. So it is sharing vulnerability struggles and authentic emotions, which is how you actually build relationships. So can we as coaches hold our worth tenderly and allow that authentic, empathetic self to shine through and really support who we are. Whilst it may not be easy, for example, if it's coach training, we're talking about, I remember when I thought, like many coaches think, when I get that certificate in my hand, it was my ILM level seven in executive coaching and mentoring, I will be able to charge for coaching. But what happens? Oh, then I go to a networking meeting and realise that there's all these other coaches around me who are ICF ACC, accredited. So, what did I do? I thought I will not be ready until I am iCF. ACC accredited. So I got my gold pin in the post. And I still didn't get that moment that told me I was ready. So if you are procrastilearning, I heard that term recently, then know you are never going to get to the point. Where you feel ready? You need to make that decision. It's just a decision that you are ready to go for it. And back to my previous point, it's a decision only you can make. No one else can talk you over the line. You need to be able to step in your own power. And decide that you are good enough to get started. And not wait for that complete moment of enoughness cause I'm not sure how many people on this planet ever feel like they are good enough. I was listening to the diary of a CEO podcast recently. I can't remember what guests he had on now. But he said, hardly anyone has that feeling. You know, we all are trying to seek approval. Most of us have that feeling of what if it's not good enough, so do you not let that stop you because the person next to you will also be feeling that thing. And this is another thing I've learned from going to masterminds. I had a full in-person day on Friday and I remember thinking when I was joining this mastermind, you know, I'm going to be surrounded by these people that have it all figured out because you know, there was quite a high entry to get in. And actually you kind of get there and you think. You know, they're just the same as me. So just always remember that you are as worthy as the next person. Let's now talk about resilience in the face of shame, because as my coach often tells me, shame is the most powerful emotion. Well, other than obviously things like gratitude, which is the most powerful emotion the other way, but shame is the most, I was about to say horrible emotion, but you're not meant to think emotions are horrible, but it's like, it really, really does, stop you in your tracks. I saw something shared by Steven Bartlett last week, which said your level of success is determined by your ability to be uncomfortable. And I really, really do resonate with that because it is uncomfortable building a business. So we need to build your resilience to do the thing. Overcome that horrible feeling of being judged and feel that shame of perhaps if you're putting your first social media post out there. And worrying about what your friends and family will think. Well, that moment and doing that and overcoming that first little hurdle will build your resilience for the next hurdle. And then that will build your resilience for the next hurdle. So then you will be able to perhaps speak at big event and things that you never thought was possible for you. But what that all depends on is you being prepared to risk feeling that horrible emotion of shame, which again, I'm not meant to say is horrible, but it really is horrible. And you will build your shame resilience. So it's not your lack of clients or failed strategy that will determine your worth, but your amazing spirit to stand, tall, learn and pivot in such moments. It's that that makes you successful. It's never the absence of setbacks. But how you can deal with those setbacks to sculpt your journey and build that legacy that you are here for. So ask yourself now. Am, I prepared to feel the lows in order to feel the highs, which might be a super successful, meaningful, amazing business, which changes lives and leaves a legacy? Lastly, let's talk about courageous leadership. Drop down beneath the waves. So even when the seas are rough, you can find that moment of stillness. And this is when meditation is really useful. I used to do meditation every single day. I must admit now I do a bit at the end of my yoga, but I don't do as much as I used to. And I'm really noticing it because it was meditation daily that helped me to build my business. I did a Deepak Chopra 30 day meditation challenge, and it was the best thing I ever did because I finally felt able to witness my emotions enough to be able to work through them in my mind and realise that feelings I was feeling may not be actually true. They may not be meaning that I am going to get eaten by tigers, and lions. It may just be a really small little hiccup. I have a form that I send to my clients to talk about how they're doing. And, one of the questions is what are you doing right now to support your mindset? Because it's easy to think that it's all strategy and that they need me to tell them to do something else, but most of the time, it really isn't. Yes, it sounds like the softer side. But I think if you aren't doing that inner work, it's really hard to build a successful business. So it's that feeling that we want to cultivate with all of our work. And I work tirelessly on building the belief with my clients. Because it's not just about nailing your niche. Two people could have the exact same niche. One will be successful and one won't. And why is that? It's just because of these underlying things that may be different. It's all in the nuances. So I know that and I want to be able to support you to really move forward in those nuances and really step into who you are here to be. Remember that your business success relies on being prepared to feel uncomfortable and allowing yourself the support to continue to do the thing, even if you are uncomfortable. Because it's the other side of that uncomfortableness where your thriving business lies. I recently recorded a new training on how to secure more coaching clients. It will literally give you the roadmap, to build your business and we'll dive deeper into two or three of the really core elements to help you to secure more coaching clients. The clue is in the title. So you can find the link to that free master class. It's up for a short while. In the show notes. I hope you enjoy today's episode. If you want the love and support to build your business. That's what I do in my signature coaching program. The business of coaching. You will find the link to join in the show notes and feel free to ask any questions about whether this is the right program to help you to build a thriving coaching business. And like I say, at the end of every episode, trust yourself, believe in yourself and be the wise Gardner who keeps on watering the seed. Thank you so much for listening to this episode of Women in the Coaching Arena. I have a mess of free resources on my website joannalottcoaching.com. That's Joanna with an A and Lott with two T's. joannalottcoaching.com. And I'll also put links in the show notes. Let me know if you found this episode useful. Share it with a friend and leave me a review, and I will personally thank you for that. Remember to trust yourself, believe in yourself and be the wise Gardner who keeps on watering the seed. Get into the arena dare, greatly and try.

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